every day for the past 7 years of my life i woke up with a purpose. i felt driven. my eyelids forced awake. this was all that kept me going. when i lost that. i lost part of me. i went off the deep end a bit. i guess maybe i was the biggest fan and just felt despair. i was self destructive. i was mean to the people around me. i was confused. i felt lost. i isolated myself. i gave up. i cant believe the universe isnt working because this is exactly when i was delivered the most important drive of my life bronx. i know that i am supposed to be doing what i am because he came at the exact time to pull me out of that. every day i work to be a better person. more patient. listen more, talk less. let go of feuds. let go of resentment. not to say hes not with me and were working harder on clandestine and decaydance than ever before. were about to launch two new angels and kings. writing some songs with my buddy mark hoppus. thats not to say count me out. im gonna jump back in. i just know that i have to be patient and wait for the right idea. i cant just jump the gun and do whatever. letting go of this giant part of my life has been hard. but i am convinced i will find something new that sparks me in a similar way. this is not a vacation. but i want to be back on tour having my son watch me from the side of stage and that will happen- when i find the right magnet.
acta est fabula
photo: bx in the sidewalk taken when bronx and i went to the ready set video shoot in brooklyn.